


Mercy

by filthiestofweebsdesu



Series: Madoka☆Magica introspection fics [2]
Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 19:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19482517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filthiestofweebsdesu/pseuds/filthiestofweebsdesu
Summary: We have no choice but to die.(Tomoe Mami introspection, based on her breakdown in episode 10.  Major spoilers!)





	Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> This scene gets me every time.

Kaname is crying.

Why wouldn't she be? Akemi just had to kill her best friend. Her best, childhood friend, who turned into the very monster she had sacrificed _everything_ to protect this city from. We all witnessed it. That thing...that was Miki. That was _Miki_.

This will be the fate of Kaname, too. It will be the fate of all of us.

And it's all my fault.

Kyubey -- he must have known this was going to happen, right? Akemi had said so.

But I dismissed her. I wanted to believe in him, wanted to believe our friendship _meant_ something. He was always there by my side, before. He was always there to listen. To keep me company. He had saved my life.

But right now, he's nowhere to be seen. And in spite of myself...I can't help thinking that that seems horribly convenient.

I should have seen through it from the beginning. Had I known what I know now, I want to say that I would have let myself die there, on the train. But I can't say that for certain. Not then, not in the heat of the moment. Not if I'm being truly honest with myself.

I'm such a despicable person.

I always _knew_ there were risks to this life. But I didn't want to face them alone. I didn't want to do anything alone. So I dragged _them_ into it, too. Innocents.

Because I didn't have anything to lose. I never let myself stop to think that maybe, they did.

Because I _knew_ that they did. Deep down, I knew. I always knew. I was just too selfish to admit it to myself. I thought that warning them of the dangers somehow made it okay, if it was for the sake of helping people. But I didn't know the dangers. Not truly.

And...and we didn't end up helping people after all, did we?

We will end up killing just as many people as we saved, won't we?

I can't let that happen. I won't let it happen.

No one is looking in my direction. Now is my chance. Silently, I take aim.

I pull the trigger, and Sakura is dead. A fate far kinder than the one that was awaiting her.

I have Akemi bound before she can react. Before she can escape. Before she can fight. I wouldn't have thought her capable of fighting us, before. But she fought the Witch. She was the only one who did.

“ _Tomoe_?” She sounds frightened. Kaname is silent - she's probably frightened, too. She probably feels confused. Betrayed. But I have no choice. I have no _choice_.

When did I start crying so much? What kind of mentor am I?

“If Soul Gems give birth to Witches...”

If Soul Gems give birth to Witches, these girls were all damned by my own selfish hand.

“...we have no _choice_ but to die, do we?”

And it is my obligation to save them.

“... Both you... _and_ me.”

Maybe hell won't be so lonely. Maybe it will be kinder than this twisted and wretched earth.

“ _STOP_!” Akemi is screaming. But I have no choice. I try to steady my aim as my vision is clouded by tears, as my hands shake under the weight of my sins. My finger is on the trigger.

Something whizzes through the cold night air.

I hear something shatter.

Suddenly, I see nothing but dark.

**Author's Note:**

> One interesting thing I noticed recently about this scene is that it has no music. Most of the big emotional scenes in PMM☆M are heavily framed by music, but this scene has none and that contributes greatly to its chilling effect. I've seen the show like 8 times but I never consciously realized this!


End file.
